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Raw Supershow 2/29/12

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by Michael Becker

Finally, The Rock comes back to Monday Night†RAW. What will he have to say? Will he follow his motto "boots to asses"?

But first things first.†RAW†starts off with another Champion vs Champion match! First, the WWE Champion CM Punk enters the ring. But no, Jericho's trolling again. Damn! But finally, this is the old Jericho: Both, Chris and Punk deliver an amazing promo. Jericho talks about all his achievements and why he is the best at what he does and so on. Punk tells him it's just all about jealousy.

After this cool promo session, the Champion vs Champion match finally starts. As usual, the awesome action in the ring gets interrupted by Lauriniatis, Long and eventually Sheamus who pushes Bryan into to ring to get hit by a GTS. But before Punk can cover Bryan, Lauriniatis tells the ref the match is over - probably due to outside interference. We'll most likely never know because everyone starts arguing in the ring. Eventually, Long shoves Lauriniatis and all hell breaks loose. While Punk is posing with his title, he gets beaten up by Jericho on the ramp, resulting in a ton of pain as he gets slammed on the concrete floor and finding himself in the Liontamer (aka Walls of Jericho) for even more pain.
Winner by DQ: Daniel Bryan (10:15)

After some hype videos for The Rock, Taker and Triple H, the divas are next. Kelly Kelly proves her non-existent talent against one of the Bellas. As usual, it makes you think "so Natalya must suffer fart jokes instead of showing her great talent while some talentless models jump around in the ring" ... sad. Of course, Kelly wins in under 2 minutes.
Winner: Kelly Kelly (01:29)

Next, we see John Cena against The Miz. But before the match starts, Miz tells us he deserves to be on the†Wrestlemania†card because he is that ... guess what ...awesome, of course. The following match however is a standard SuperCena prolonged squash which ends as he hits his AA and then puts Miz in the STF.
Winner: John Cena (04:03)

All of a sudden, we are the told the next match is for the†WWE Tag Team Championship! The champs Primo and Epico will face Kofi and R-Truth as well as Jack Swagger and Dolph Ziggler in a Triple Threat tag team match. The match itself is pretty good. After some back and forth, there is a big turmoil in which Primo hits the Back Stabber on Swagger. Epico then pins Swagger who happens to be the reigning US Champion - in case you forgot:
Winners and still WWE Tag Team Champions: Primo & Epico (08:12)

While the champions are celebrating, the big red monster Kane enters the ring and destroys everybody. Does that mean he will compete for the tag team titles or is he just massively pissed off? We will get to know soon.

Laurinatis and Long share rumors in the GM office: They claim they have heard that their respective counterpart won't host his respective show next week.
UPDATE:†The Board of Directors made the decision that Teddy Long should host the next WWE†RAW†while John Lauriniatis would be the host GM of next week's Smackdown. Now that's an interesting decision that might well lead to a†RAW vs Smackdown†for uninfied GM position match at†Wrestlemania.

Eve comes to the ring, claiming men are to blame themselves for her behavior. She uses them, yes. But she makes a point: Are there men who would refuse to be used by Eve? Lawler thinks he might be able to do so ... yeah, right. Of all people, Lawler resists some puppies? Come on!

Back in the ring, there is some tag team action again: Big Show and Sheamus are supposed to take on Mark Henry and Cody Rhodes. Yet Rhodes has a present for Big Show: Another embarrassing†Wrestlemania†moment: Did you remember when Big Show lost to Mayweather? But here's the thing: Mick Foley once said there is no point in embarrassing your opponent. Don't tell the audience your opponent is a loser. If you lose, well, you're a loser, too. Even if you win, you've just beaten a loser. If you think about it, Rhodes can't win anything with this story. Anyway, as soon as the match starts, Rhodes gets cold feet and tags in Henry who is felled by spear from Show. Big Show then proceeds to follow Rhodes while Sheamus hits the Brogie kick on Henry for an easy win in this short match.
Winners: Big Show and Sheamus (00:58)

Now, it is time for the glorious return of The Rock! Surprisingly, he doesn't use his catch phrases. Instead, he gets emotional and tells of goosebumps and The Rock being born in the WWE. Even if he's not there each week, the WWE is still his home. He has always loved the WWE, and he is always will. Then, he starts trashing John Cena: He now knows Cena is not a hypocrite but a coward who only runs his mouth when The Rock is not around. John Cena is nothing more than a Kung Pao bitch! All the while, the fans start chanting words like "Rocky", "Fruity Pebbles", "Lady parts", "boots to asses" or"Kung Pao bitch". To The Rock, this shows his innovation: He is searching for new Twitter slogans together with the audience. Cena knows nothing about innovation - the only thing he changes are his outfits on a regular basis ...

Finally, Cena has enough and confronts Rocky: Once, he respected The Rock. But now, he has met Dwayne Johnson. That guy is nothing but an egotistical, see-through son of a bitch! At†Wrestlemania, Cena will kick Dwayne's ass! Cena certainly topped last week's promo again! When leaving, he gave Dwayne a nice advise: "Carry on, continue trending!"

Apparently, The Rock is shaken. He's struggling for words before realizing this was the John Cena he knows so it's all fine. And he reminds us that Dwayne Johnson and The Rock are the same person - and that person will kick Cena's ass at†Wrestlemania. That's a promise, and while we smell what The Rock is cooking,†RAW†goes off the air ...

Finally, the fire burns! Jericho is back as we know him, and Rock and Cena seem to start a generation war: In the red corner, we have† the Hollywood man The Rock, always trending on Twitter. In the blue corner, John Cena: An upstanding worker who really loves the fans. Plus, the Lauriniatis vs Long GM war has entered the next phase. However, the divas are lost in no man's land where they meet Sheamus who has nothing to do mere weeks before his title shot at†Wrestlemania†...

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